I bill based on the scope of the project. Here’s how it works:
- We talk.
- I give you a quote.
- You like my number (sucker).
- You don’t like my number. Let the haggling begin!
Family & friends: 20% off
Acquaintances: 10% off
Ex-girlfriends: 5% off (plus an additional 1/2% for each month you put up with me)
Politicians, hedge fund managers and Ira T. Shibblewitz, Esquire, my ex-wife’s attorney: get outta here, ya bloodsuckers!
*My lawyer, Frank Peter Gerace, has advised me to add the following disclaimer: “for humorous purposes only”.